My Labrador Experience: A Cautionary Tale

Hello everyone!

I'm writing this review for anyone who's thinking about bringing home a Labrador. A word of warning: my experience might not be the same for every single Labrador out there, but I'm hoping to give you a heads up on what to expect.

If you're a Labrador fanatic or think you've got it all figured out, feel free to skip this review. I'm just sharing my personal story and my personal experience with the breed. If you've got a perfect Labrador who's got no flaws, can talk, fly, shoot lasers out of their eyes, and predict the future, then this review probably isn't for you.

The breed is definitely very attractive, which is a major plus in my book.Their friendly nature is both a blessing and a curse.They're relatively easy to train, but only if you're willing to bribe them with food.They're quiet (they only bark on command).

The infamous kindness.For some, this might be a plus, but personally, I find a Labrador to be too kind. It'll love everyone - neighbors, acquaintances, strangers' kids, random people on the street, other dogs, cats, birds, and so on. It won't be able to walk past anyone, throwing itself at them, licking them, and trying to play, completely disregarding whether the other person wants to interact or not (which often gets it scolded by other dogs). It can calmly take down a person running towards it, scare a child, knock someone's nose with its face, pin someone's legs down, or leave a trail of slobber. So, this trait is more annoying than providing any advantage over other breeds. This leads to another drawback.

Lack of loyalty.Your Labrador will happily run off to another person, completely ignoring your calls, as long as the new person gives it some attention. This has happened multiple times, so it's not just a coincidence. Even if I'm away and the dog is left with another person for a while, there's no sign of it missing me. As soon as it meets someone new, that person becomes its new best friend. So, don't count on your dog defending you on the street or missing you when you're away. But hey, it's a very kind dog, so think about whether you need that kind of kindness.

Compatibility issues with small kids and other pets.I've busted the myth that Labradors get along great with kids and other household animals. They won't attack or be aggressive, but they'll play with them in their own way, which can be a problem. They might knock a kid over, swat at them, or step on them, and their obsessive behavior can be pretty intimidating. Honestly, they just don't care about the kid; they're too busy playing by their own rules. As for cats, they'll be completely put off, because a Labrador just doesn't care about other living creatures – they're only interested in playing and getting attention.

ObsessivenessAgain, this might be a plus for people living alone with attention deficit, but for me, it's a major minus. I'll go for a walk, play with the dog, exercise, and spend time with him, and it seems like he's had enough, right? But nope – he's just getting started. He'll be all over the place, jumping up and down, and sitting right next to you, whether you want him to or not. Even if you're feeling down or just want some alone time with your partner, forget about it. He'll whine, scratch, and bang on the door until you let him in. So, if you're looking for some quiet time, a Labrador's not the dog for you.

FurI'm not going to sugarcoat it - our Labradors shed a lot. I mean, a LOT. Their undercoat is super thick and dense, so they'll be shedding constantly, regardless of the season. It's not just a little bit of fluff here and there, either - it's like they're leaving a trail of fur everywhere they go. We've got a robot vacuum that runs twice a day, but it's not enough to keep up with the amount of fur they produce. You'll be finding it in your food, on your clothes, and even in your drinks. Brushing and grooming don't seem to make a difference, and neither do supplements. And to make matters worse, their fur is super oily, especially after they've been swimming in cold water. It's not pleasant to pet them after a couple of days.

OdorLet's be real - every dog has its own unique smell, and Labradors are no exception. They're not as bad as some breeds, but they still manage to make your home smell like a dog's home. It's not just their fur, either - they've got a strong odor that permeates everything from your clothes to your furniture. And don't even get me started on their breath. We make sure our dog is healthy and well-fed, and he sees the vet regularly, but that doesn't seem to make a difference.

Pig in a dog's bodyOur dog loves getting dirty, and he's got a special talent for finding the grimiest, muddiest spots in the yard. He'll eat just about anything he can find, including other dogs' poop and who-knows-what-else. And then he'll come inside and... well, let's just say it's not a pretty sight. He's got a strong instinct to dig and roll around in the mud, and it's not easy to break him of the habit. It's not just the mess, either - it's the smell and the fact that he'll happily prance around the house with a big ol' mud stain on his fur. It's a real challenge to keep him clean and happy at the same time.

ClumsinessI've got to say, this dog is a total klutz. It's always running around the apartment like a maniac, knocking over anything in its path. It'll be tripping over its own feet, bumping into furniture, knocking over planters, and breaking doors with its head (it just can't seem to stop in time).

Tendency to destroy your apartmentBe prepared for the fact that this dog will chew up and destroy everything it can get its paws on, excluding furniture, shoes, walls, curtains, floors, and electronics. It's like a little tornado, leaving a trail of destruction in its wake. I've personally had an entire bookshelf devoured in one sitting (a collection I'd spent years curating). Every corner, leg, and cushion of our furniture has been ruined, despite regular exercise and mental stimulation. I even had to install a camera to monitor the chaos and try to prevent it.

The Labrador's deafnessThis is a weird phenomenon where the dog will sometimes pretend not to hear you, especially when it's fixated on something. So, if you're trying to call it off from eating a diaper or running off to meet another dog, be prepared for the fact that your commands will be ignored half the time.

Energy LevelI've got a dog that's ridiculously energetic, despite being a bit of a clumsy oaf when it comes to agility and speed compared to the other breeds on our block. She needs at least two hours of exercise a day, but ideally three or four, or else we're in for a world of chaos and hyperactivity. I should add that Labradors are naturally high-strung dogs, so when the mailman comes or there's a knock at the door, she goes absolutely bonkers and it takes an eternity to calm her down. When there are a lot of people or dogs around, my Labrador loses all sense of reason and decorum and starts pulling on the leash, lunging at everything that moves to play or say hello – and despite years of living in the city and training, she's never really gotten used to big crowds.

Brain PowerI'm not sure if this is just a quirk of my dog, but despite being a quick learner when it comes to commands (for treats), she's just incredibly dim-witted in other areas of life. She won't pick up on when I'm feeling unwell or in pain, and instead of being sympathetic, she'll just bound over to me, licking my face and knocking over my thermometer, water glass, and medication in the process. She won't back off if she's underfoot, and loves to dart under the car or leap off a cliff. During training sessions, she loses focus incredibly quickly and starts acting out. To this day, after several years, she still can't figure out how to play fetch with a ball and stick.

Weight gainI've noticed that Labradors from the food-motivated category tend to overeat, especially if you're not paying attention to their diet. On the plus side, it makes them super easy to train with treats, but without them, your commands are likely to be ignored about 50% of the time.

CunningLabradors are notorious for being super clever and sneaky, so be prepared for them to disobey rules when you're not watching. I've caught my Lab sneaking onto the couch when I'm not around, sniffing out forbidden foods on the kitchen counter, and even jumping onto the dining table to snag a snack. They just don't care about your rules if they want something, and they'll do whatever it takes to get it.

The slowest sniffer in the worldAs a hunting breed, Labradors have an incredible sense of smell, which can be both a blessing and a curse. I've timed my Lab taking over an hour to sniff out a single bush, and it's not uncommon for us to spend 30-40 minutes just leaving the house. Friends with other breeds don't seem to have this problem, as their dogs can walk 10 meters without getting distracted by every little thing. Even sniffing out a single puddle of urine can take up to 3-5 minutes (I've timed it!). As a result, I find walks with this breed to be pretty dull and uneventful.

After reading millions of glowing reviews where I was promised a dog with no downsides, I decided to take the plunge and buy a Labrador puppy (male). The dog was purchased at 4 months old, with all the necessary documents and a good pedigree, for a decent price. At first, I was smitten – he was adorable, friendly, affectionate, and just plain lovely. He picked up going potty outside quickly, learned basic commands, and everything seemed great until around 6-7 months old. That's when the chaos began... the shedding, the stink, the destroyed apartment, the disobedience, and just plain bizarre behavior (yes, I get it, he was a puppy, but based on other dogs I've seen, this was on a whole different level). I immediately signed up with a trainer, whom I still work with to this day, but they haven't been much help, as my Labrador seems 'deaf' when he really wants something and ignores commands. It got to the point where I installed a camera in my apartment and would leave work early every day just to intervene in the chaos. And the worst part is, I've seen dogs who, even after making a mess, at least look sorry or guilty, but this guy just gives me a blank stare, his tongue hanging out, and runs around while I clean up after him. I've had it up to here with him... and it doesn't seem to be getting any better, despite what people say about Labradors becoming more 'normal' around middle age. But reading some reviews, it's clear that many owners deal with this nonsense until their dogs are old. Even going for walks is a challenge, as it's a constant tug-of-war over the leash and trying to get him to stay on track after an hour of sniffing the same rock over and over... and even when we leave the yard, he never walks beside me like a normal dog, but instead veers off course, gets tangled in the leash, and gets stuck in trees...

I've found myself dealing with passersby and other dogs a lot. On the other hand, this dog will do anything for food, as long as they're alone. But the moment they see a person or another dog across the field, they're gone - a new owner or a new friend, apparently. Nothing seems to work, whether it's a change in trainers or different tactics - nothing. We head back home... The furniture's ruined, there's a stench, fur, dirt, and dog hair everywhere (no matter how many times I clean, all the carpets are stained with dirt and slobber). And it's all back to square one in the morning. It's a vicious cycle that's been going on for the past 10 years. The dog's got everything it needs - attention, food, medical care, walks, exercise, love... what more could it want to behave normally? In all honesty, I didn't expect something like this. Maybe not all Labradors are like mine, but judging by some of the reviews, there's something common among them, and it's suspiciously similar to my situation...

So, whether or not this breed is right for you is up to you to decide, based on the pros and cons I've mentioned. I won't be offering any advice, but I will say this: buy with a clear head and after reading all the negative reviews. Don't listen to breeders and Labrador enthusiasts who claim the breed has no flaws. They're there for every breed, and for me, they were fatal. I'll never get another dog like this, and I've lost my trust in the breed as a whole.

That's all, thanks to everyone who made it this far. I hope this review will be helpful to someone or save them from the consequences of a wrong choice.