A Crushing Disappointment at the LDM Theater

Hello!

I hadn't written here in ages, and to be honest, I wasn't planning on it because there's always something else to do. But here's a reason, even if it's not a pleasant one.

The LDM Theater, which I visited for the first time last week, is already becoming a new Petersburg attraction. You see it all over the metro ads for their musicals, the internet is full of them, travel agencies are luring tourists there, and some Petersburg residents are even going to the same show multiple times.

So, before my visit to this place, I already had an idea of what it was like, and it seemed pretty over-the-top to me. I wasn't exactly rushing to get there, because I prefer regular theater performances and ballet over musicals. But I was given a two-for-one invitation, and my husband and I are planning to go to LDM...

Price

Billets for our musical "Demon Onegin" start at the website for 1500 rubles. For that price, you'll get "side seats" with limited visibility on the balcony and in the orchestra.

The most expensive seats in the 10th row will cost you 20,000 rubles, while seats near the aisle will be 15,000. The price isn't just determined by how well you can see the stage, but also because some of the performers will walk by the seats a few times during the show.

Location

This is the first of many downsides to LDM.

The theatre is located at Petrovsky Prospekt, 20 D. It's an industrial area, and the metro and bus stops are a bit of a trek away.

You'll either need to walk for about 20 minutes or splurge on a taxi. And if you're driving, be prepared to pay for parking.

The Building or Venue Inside

I have to say, the theatre used to be housed in the building of the Leningrad Palace of Youth, which has since been demolished to make way for some dodgy developments in St. Petersburg. Coincidence or not, the LDM acronym, which the theatre now stands for as 'life dedication to musicals', was aptly suited to the theatre's former home in LDM.

After a bit of a search, LDM has found its new home on Petrovsky Prospekt. Here's what it looks like from the courtyard:

Not exactly the most welcoming entrance, as you can see. The entrance I used was on the other side, and I even wondered if the entrance/exit on the photo was for staff only, but reading the reviews, I realized that the audience is also ushered in this way.

Before you can get into the building, you'll need to stand in line outside. You'll also have to go through a scanner on the street, and if it beeps, the security guard will give you a once-over. We've all seen how effective these measures are in the face of real danger, but they're here nonetheless. On the day I visited, the weather was fine, but I've heard it can get pretty miserable when it's raining...

As soon as we stepped inside, we were immediately asked to buy tickets – another speed bump. Next thing you know, you're funneled into some kind of bottleneck because the tiny 'lobby' area, which I'd hesitate to call a foyer, is connected to a buffet zone where people who got there earlier are already settled in, and there's hardly any room.

We're not the only ones moving around; there are waitstaff trying to navigate the space, and it's clear there aren't enough seats. I managed to squeeze in a table somehow, but it was a real challenge. It's impossible to move around with anyone else – people are shuffling along one by one, and it's chaos. I was taken aback by the whole scene, but I had no idea what was waiting for me ahead.

We decided to look for the coat check, but it was already full – they weren't taking any more coats! It's like, guys, there are still tons of people waiting outside. A young staff member told us that there's another coat check on the second floor. I'll note that he referred to the whole ordeal as the 'coat check', which would become a recurring theme of frustration for me at LDM.

Okay, so I left my coat with my husband and decided to head to the ladies' room, which caught my eye. And what did I see when I got there?

Curtains! Instead of doors, they've got curtains here. Heavy and leaving gaps on the sides. And, just like in the whole LDM building, there's hardly any space. Loads of women commented that they bumped their heads on these curtains during the process... I managed to calm down, but just in case, I held onto the curtain with one hand because not everyone knew where the free space was.

I've got serious doubts about the cleanliness of the curtains and the overall state of the bathroom. The smell of urine was overpowering, and it was still possible to spot dirt and puddles on the floor, even with the dim lighting. Gross! The toilet totally ruined my mood - I was left completely baffled as to how this could happen in a place that's so highly recommended, with tickets costing 20k rubles...

The audience was pretty dramatic, to be honest - not everyone, but a significant chunk of them. I've seen women dressed to the nines with hairdos that would've fit right in at the old Mariinsky Theatre building, and they were complaining about the curtains...

We head up to the 2nd floor and immediately hit a dead end in front of the open doors to the auditorium, where our seats were. We go looking for the promised cloakroom. Another ridiculously narrow corridor that's giving me claustrophobia... I checked everything out, but there was no cloakroom. I ask the women standing nearby, and they send me back towards the entrance. I'm starting to think I've lost my mind, because there was nothing there...

I walked back in, still couldn't see anything, and asked the girl selling snacks. They told me I could hang my clothes right in the viewing area. I thought they must have some floor-standing hooks or something, but nope...

Along the walls of the viewing area, there were hooks nailed in, each one holding a big clump of upper-body clothes! That was even more shocking than the velvet curtains:

I didn't want to jam my jackets onto those hooks, and even if I had wanted to, there wouldn't have been room. We ended up walking to our seats with our upper-body clothes in hand. Luck was on our side, and we found a free spot nearby to stash everything. I can only imagine how people would dig out their stuff later, with everything scattered all over the floor...

It was already 8 pm, and the show was supposed to start at 7. We were sitting and waiting. I looked around. The big hall and balcony were packed, it was amazing we had a free seat next to us. The theater's website says they have 805 seats and 100% visibility from any of them. Meanwhile, their website [here] lists the cheapest seats with limited visibility, which I mentioned earlier.

They also claim on their website that American architects and designers were involved in the theater's stage design.

I've been wondering, who designed these ridiculously narrow corridors and the rest of the space that's completely not suited for accommodating so many people? Okay, the coat check can barely fit half the audience's clothes, that's not a deal-breaker... But, if, God forbid, another emergency happens, it's impossible to evacuate from here, people would get crushed and it's so obvious that I'm left wondering how this building passed fire safety inspections...

I'm still thinking about it and it's freaking me out...

The Show Itself and What Came with It

But let's get back to the start of the show, which was seriously delayed. My invitation said that entry after the third bell is prohibited. In reality, there were no bells at all:

People tried to get the performers on stage with applause, but it didn't work. What did work, though, was getting the ads on screen like in a movie theater. I didn't time how long it lasted, but when the show finally started, it was 19:30 – a full 30 minutes after the announced time. That's just not normal, if you ask me.

I won't go into too much detail about the show itself, but I will say that some of the characters on stage didn't quite live up to the original - not just in terms of looks, but also in their behavior. That really threw me off. The only one I enjoyed was Onegin. The costumes and set design were nice, but since I'm a regular at the Hermitage Theatre, they didn't really impress me. Neither did the 3D effects. The singing was mediocre, and I wasn't blown away by the vocal talents of the performers. The music and choreography were just okay.

After reading the descriptions from LDM themselves and a few reviews of their other shows, I got the sense that the theatre thinks it's a good idea to stray as far as possible from the original story. And in the case of 'Demon Onegin', they're still not quite there yet.

I'll be writing a more detailed review of the show itself in a separate post, but for now, I'll just say that the first act was over in less than an hour!

And if you consider that before the intermission, one of the actresses started chatting with the audience, trying to get us to head to the buffet, and not just to grab a snack, but to 'have a little drink'... well, I don't know, folks, but I think the attitude towards the audience at LDM is a bit... questionable. I mean, if some people are okay with being treated like cattle, that's their prerogative, but it's just not my cup of tea.

I was glad to be leaving, to be honest. The whole experience just wasn't my cup of tea. We decided to head home. The theater was still pretty packed, but people were avoiding the buffet area, which was a good call. Just then, this weird-looking guy with a red wig came out on stage and started announcing some kind of entertainment program. I was pleasantly surprised - it was nice to see the theater was thinking about the audience's downtime. But my enthusiasm was short-lived. He invited three guys on stage for some kind of competition, and things quickly devolved into cheesy, cringeworthy jokes that would be right at home at a rural wedding.

And to top it all off, after the show, the patient audience members got to take photos with the performers on stage. For free, I assume - but given LDM's commercial approach, I'm not so sure anymore.

The Final Verdict

To be frank, my experience with LDM was a complete disaster. I left with a bad taste in my mouth, feeling like the theater doesn't really care about its audience. The way they treat people is just appalling - it's like herding cattle into a pen. And to think they're spending a fortune on advertising, but can't be bothered to make the space comfortable for their guests. It just reinforces my impression of 'the herd and the cattle.' The crude, juvenile humor used by the performers only adds to my negative opinion.

I'll be honest, the show itself wasn't that bad, but I didn't have much to say about it. A couple of characters stood out, though - the Onegin played by Ivan Ozhogin was impressive, and that nanny who sent the crowd to the buffet was hilarious. The rest of the characters, including the demon that kept popping up on stage, didn't really make an impression on me, even with their elaborate costumes.

But what really gets me is the safety concerns when you're in LDM. I'm just hoping nothing bad happens, or the consequences would be disastrous - it's impossible to evacuate quickly and safely.

I'm still in a state of cognitive dissonance, to be honest, because I don't get how people can pay 15-20 thousand rubles for tickets and still go there. Maybe it's because they have a separate entrance and VIP facilities... But even a decent person should think twice after seeing and hearing all this.

Maybe it's just my personal issue, but I expected to go to a fancy, over-the-top place, and instead I ended up in a barn. I guess some people like it, though - the place is almost fully booked.

Ostensibly, I should be grateful that I didn't waste my money on tickets.

That's it for me, I'm giving it a 'one' and thanks for reading!