When Life Gives You Lemons, Don't Make Lemonade - Make Life Take Them Back!

Portal 2 Review

Welcome back to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center! I finally managed to play Portal 2 from start to finish, after putting the first part on the backburner for a while. I was completely in love with the first part, but my attitude towards the second changed right up until the very end. After beating the final boss, I gave the game a few more chances and replayed it – and I finally came to a conclusion about my final rating.

Compared to the second part, the first one looks like a demo version of the game. Portal 2's storyline and length are both much bigger and more engaging, and I definitely appreciate that. The question is: is it worth playing the first game if you can jump straight into the second? Absolutely, it is – the events of the first game can be summarized in a few sentences or even by reading the storyline of Portal 2, which makes it easy to get a sense of what happened; and anyone can handle the gameplay. Still, I'd recommend not skipping the first Portal – it's worth getting a feel for the overall atmosphere of the game and knowing what to expect from Portal 2.

I bought the game in a bundle with the first part on Steam for 250 rubles, I think. I didn't regret the purchase for a second; actually, I used to play a pirated version, but I couldn't find a decent one – either nothing would launch, or it'd just shut down. The price on Steam seemed ridiculous to me, so I played it like a law-abiding citizen.

Valve Corporation developed the game – the same company that gave us Half-Life, and many have already pointed out the numerous Easter eggs in both parts of Portal. I haven't played Half-Life (unfortunately), but I did take a look at a few reviews – I feel like I'll need to save up my patience for the final bosses. The game is divided into chapters, and both single-player and co-op modes have their own storylines. The co-op mode takes over from the single-player one, but it's hard to say it's a full-fledged sequel. The main story is still the one from the single-player mode.

The protagonist from the first game, the silent Chell, continues living in the Aperture Science lab's partially destroyed complex, in a state of conservation, and occasionally wakes up due to an unknown announcer – for the sake of maintaining her physical and mental health. One of these wake-ups brings her Wheatley – a self-sufficient module that was assigned to oversee the conserved Chell. Wheatley brings some bad news: the lab's backup energy is running out, and the reactor core is about to melt down. Wheatley, worried that the top management will pin the blame on him, suggests that Chell escape – and first of all, reach the escape capsule.

The path to the escape pod is far from straightforward, and after a few mishaps, the hapless duo of the silent girl and the chatty robot inadvertently wake up GLaDOS (Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System) – the main artificial intelligence and, essentially, the only manager of the Aperture Science laboratory. In the first part, GLaDOS tried to turn us into a Christmas dinner at the end, but we outsmarted her. But we meet again. And our escape is significantly complicated.

Ah, it's you... Long time no see. How's it going? I was so busy being dead. Well, after you killed me. Okay. Let's forget about our differences. For science. You're a monster.

The rescue operation is under threat; poor old Whitely gets tossed out as trash by GLaDOS, and as for Chell, the artificial intelligence has the same plans – to test her until she's blue in the face, because GLaDOS still has so many untested cameras left, which would be a shame...

I liked the story in the first Portal, despite its brevity and darkness, but here, the story is something else entirely. With minimal cutscenes and Chell's complete lack of reaction, we'll go through something that'll freeze your heart, make you cry, or just make you feel apathetic. After the first part's finale, I wanted to smile, but here... even though the final part is somewhat clear, it still feels wrong – not in the sense that it doesn't make sense, but it just shouldn't have happened. By the way, for those who haven't finished or haven't started but are planning to: be careful reading other people's reviews in this thread – I'm looking at the minus points list, and someone from the authors didn't hesitate to stick in a huge spoiler.

The story is divided into chapters:

Chapter 1: A Visit of CourtesyChapter 2: A Cold StartChapter 3: A ReturnChapter 4: A SurpriseChapter 5: An EscapeChapter 6: A FallChapter 7: A ReunionChapter 8: A TickChapter 9: The Moment When (spoiler)One thing that surprised me is how much time I spent getting stuck on certain levels and trying to figure out puzzles. If you can breeze through the game without getting stuck, it'll take around five or six hours to complete. I took around 15 hours to finish it, but that was mainly because I was stuck on a puzzle for a long time.

Even in co-op mode, there's a story, although it's a bit different from the main campaign. In co-op, you'll play as Atlas and Pi-Body, two robots with a portal gun, but I haven't found a co-op partner yet. If you're interested in playing with me, let me know! Just don't hit me too hard on the head if I get stuck again.

Playing the first part of the game, you won't find much new in terms of controls. If you skipped the first part and jumped straight to the second, it's not a big deal – the game has a small number of active buttons and informative tutorials at the beginning, which will help you get used to it quickly. The game is in first-person view, and I'm having trouble imagining how it would look in third-person. I used to hate first-person view in the past, but now I find it really immersive.

I do want to mention that the game ran smoothly without any bugs, crashes, or errors. On the background of modern games that often come out with bugs and glitches, I'd like to highlight this as a major plus. When a game costs this much, I expect it to be polished and bug-free.

My trusty portal gun – it's been a lifesaver, helping me navigate through treacherous rooms and find a way out before the traps get me. This thing creates two portals: one's the entrance (orange), and the other's the exit (blue). Just like in the first part, you can't just create portals anywhere – you need to find specific surfaces to shoot them onto. Sometimes, I've found myself in a tight spot, like when I accidentally teleported into a gap between two walls, and I've got to create a portal on the fly to get out. It's not always easy to tell which color portal to create – do I go for orange or blue?

I'm still loving the ability to save at any time, but it's a bit of a hassle. There's no quick-save button – you have to pause the game and navigate to the save menu.

Many of the levels in this part are just copies of the first part. In the first part, my portal gun could only create blue portals, and the orange one was fixed in place – no way to move it. The final boss fight is also pretty similar to the first part's – same six-minute time limit.

Level exits usually involve a door that you need to unlock with some mechanism or by placing a heavy cube on a pedestal. I'm glad they didn't bring back those energy balls from the first part – I was getting tired of chasing them down and trying not to get hit by them. Instead, they've introduced dark energy beams – they're deadly, but easy to understand. With the portal gun or special dark energy deflectors, you can redirect the beam to activate a mechanism or take out an enemy turret.

The air vent of faith, as I like to call it, is mostly found in large rooms. It's a lifesaver, blasting anything that gets in its way – whether it's a heavy cube or the player themselves. And the best part? It's not just limited to the floor – it can be placed on walls too.

The Transportation Tube – it's similar to the Light Bridge, but movable. The direction of movement is always the same, but in two test cameras, pressing a button could make the flow go in reverse. The Tube grabs everything that gets in, including us, and takes us to where we need to go, without letting us fall from the height.

The Repelling Gel – I missed taking a screenshot of it; it's shown as blue puddles. It works like a trampoline, and the harder we land on the gel, the higher and farther it propels us. The large gel dispensers can be teleported to various surfaces, giving us another advantage on our way out. It can also serve as a useful tool against the turrets.

The Propelling Gel – it's orange in color; it works like an 'accelerator' for running.

Portal Gel – this gel is white in color and, when applied to any surface, makes it suitable for creating portals (although there are some exceptions, like grates).

Puzzle levels are moderately challenging – we start with the simplest and gradually get to the more complex ones. The initial stages of the game should not cause any difficulties, but as we progress, it's easy to get stuck for hours trying to find a way out. One thing I'd like to mention is that the creators have only provided one way to solve the puzzle. You can't experiment and try different approaches to the game.

Now, about the not-so-good stuff. I've had a few instances where it felt like I was walking in circles. We'd complete all the test chambers – from easy to hard – and then, suddenly, we'd be back at the starting point, facing the same chambers, but with some new twist. We'd have to go through them all again, from easy to hard. Closer to the end, I even had to repeat one of the easiest chambers (thankfully, it was a breeze the second time around). In the first half of the game, I didn't mind doing it, but in the second half, when the story introduced new plot twists, I found myself dreading the repetition...

It's interesting that they've added so many gameplay features, but only some of them are available during the final boss battle. I also feel like there's too much back-and-forth between levels that aren't actually test chambers.

And why, by the way, is Aperture Science called a laboratory for studying portal nature, when, according to old audio recordings, they were also conducting experiments on human DNA, like?

The laws of physics in this game are kind of there, but sometimes they're, like, alternative. The potato abilities are way overhyped – even a large, single potato yields some crazy numbers in this game.

I'm not going to count the game's length as a con. If you've got a licensed version, consider it endless – check out the test chambers created by fellow players, and try to solve someone else's puzzle. Or, you know, get creative in the chamber workshop. I checked out a couple of user-made chambers – kudos to the creators! It was fun.

Chell – the test subject who still won't talk to anyone. In this part, we learn a bit more about her: when she was born, her parents probably just abandoned her; they were likely test subjects themselves. GlaDOS constantly hints that Chell's gained some weight and isn't afraid to make some nasty jokes about her parents. Chell just ignores them all.

GlaDOS (Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System) – the supercomputer with a sense of humor; at one point, it malfunctioned and unleashed a neurotoxin, killing all the scientists. GlaDOS is now the sole ruler of the lab. Her jokes can be a bit dark, but... I'll admit it, they made me chuckle.

Wheatley – a former module that suppressed GlaDOS's intelligence; now he's a supervisor in the Conservation department. He's chatty and very emotional, and he's not happy with his job or people in general.

Cave Johnson – the founder of the lab; he's already dead, but you can see him in portraits and hear his short messages on audio recordings.

I have to admit, I've been thinking – if life hands you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take them back. Get angry. I don't need your cursed lemons. What am I supposed to do with them? Demand a meeting with the life manager. Make life regret the day it decided to gift Cave Johnson lemons. You know who I am? I'm the guy who's going to burn your house down. I'll get my engineers to invent a flammable lemon to torch your house to the ground!

They've improved significantly since the first part – although I wasn't too bothered by the graphics there either. Don't expect breathtaking natural scenery; the whole story takes place in a partially destroyed lab, which is deep underground. So, we're looking at dimly lit corridors, stairwells, grids, conveyor belts, pipes, control rooms, and the like.

Personally, I still don't see the game as dark, though.

Location design continues to impress.

The atmosphere, fueled by rare calm or upbeat melodies, makes the game feel cozy and warm, despite the grim storyline. The full Russian dub, just like in the first part, was a hit with me – apart from the voices of the turrets, which were a lot worse. GLaDOS's mean jokes and Upton's nervous outbursts add a bit of comedy to the game.

Portal 2 (just like the first part) is definitely worth playing. Take the challenge and test your brain's capabilities – complete all the test chambers with just a portal gun and find the non-obvious exit routes. The game comes with GLaDOS's comments – who would have thought that AI has such a sense of humor?

Most reviews are positive, and players give it a top score; I, on the other hand, want to lower my overall rating for artificially stretched sections, where I'm sent back in time and have to replay parts (and the atmosphere gets lost); for physics, which sometimes work and sometimes don't; for running around, which starts to get old; and for some questions about the storyline, including one: how much time actually passed between the two parts?

That's why I'm giving it four stars. Don't get me wrong, the game isn't bad – it's actually amazing and unique. I find myself wanting to play through the single-player campaign again after trying out the user-created levels. And if I'm lucky, I'll even find a co-op partner. Portal 2 is definitely worth checking out, and I tip my hat to the developers and creators of the test levels.