My Terrifying but Worth-It Medical Abortion Experience

I've been in your shoes, ladies. I've been scouring the internet for reviews on medical abortions, trying to calm my nerves. I knew I had to be prepared for the worst, but I just couldn't stop reading. It's like you know something terrible is coming, and you're desperate to distract yourself until it's all over. I'm not going to sugarcoat the moral side of things. Honestly, I didn't have any qualms about it. I'm 20, I'm not financially stable, and the father wouldn't have been around anyway. Plus, my health is already pretty terrible, so I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have made it through pregnancy or childbirth. Some people might call me selfish, but I'd rather be alive. What really worried me was how my health would hold up after the abortion. I don't get why some people are so upset about it. They're mourning a tiny embryo that's barely even formed yet. I can understand if it was a wanted pregnancy, but if it's just a random thing, what's the big deal? It'll all work out. I started noticing my pregnancy really early - around 2-3 weeks. I felt terrible, with a low-grade fever, a dull ache in my lower abdomen, and just a general feeling of being exhausted and bloated. Sometimes I'd get a strong urge to eat, but other times I'd feel queasy just looking at food. I'd been using protection for years, so the idea of pregnancy never even crossed my mind. It wasn't until I had a 3-5 day delay that I started to suspect something was off. I took a pregnancy test, and it showed two clear lines right away. The puzzle pieces fell into place, and I was hit with a wave of panic, fear, and anxiety. I knew I'd have to spend a lot of money, go through a lot of pain, and risk making my already terrible health even worse. It was depressing, to say the least. I knew I had to get a medical abortion as soon as possible. I felt like the time was ticking, and I didn't want to wait. I started looking for clinics, and let me tell you, it wasn't easy. There were only a handful of decent options in Minsk, and they were all pretty pricey. I started calling and booking appointments right away, worried that I'd get stuck with a long waitlist or show up too late for the procedure. Luckily, I was able to get an appointment within a few days. Even those two days felt like an eternity, though - I just wanted to get this over with. Physically, things were getting worse by the day. My lower abdomen was aching, and I had a dull, throbbing pain that seemed to shift from side to side. My stomach was bloating up, and I had a fever. I'd wake up with nausea, and just the thought of food made me queasy. I felt like I was in a nightmare, and I just wanted to wake up. I was worried about going through 9 months of that kind of pain. A few weeks in, and I was already feeling miserable. How would I have made it through with a bigger belly? I just can't even imagine. Sometimes the pain in my abdomen was so bad that I'd freeze up for a few seconds, too scared to breathe. It was like my body was trying to tell me something, but I just didn't know what. I should mention that I have a slightly misshapen uterus - it's got a bit of a backward curve. It's usually not a big deal, but in some cases, it can cause a lot of pain and discomfort. I'm not sure what would have happened if I'd gone through with the pregnancy, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have been pretty. As it was, I was just trying to survive until the abortion was over.

I've been dealing with cramps, especially during my period. And I was exactly that case. During my period, I'm always climbing the walls from pain, fighting, crying, applying heating pads, and stuffing myself with painkillers, and all of this has been my reality since I was 11. So even with a small pregnancy, I was miserable. No one wishes that on themselves, girls.

Day X. The long-awaited appointment with my gynecologist. They did an ultrasound of my pelvis. If you didn't know, during early pregnancy, they do it with a long probe inserted inside you. It was also painful for me due to my sensitive uterus. I'll also say that I'm not afraid of pain; I've gotten tattoos and undergone painful procedures that didn't seem painful to me. But anything related to my uterus and women's health is a stress trigger for me. The pregnancy was confirmed on the ultrasound, and the term was indeed small, as I thought – around 3-4 weeks. They also used a mirror to take a look.The doctor was decent, didn't push the pregnancy on me, and was understanding, which I'm grateful for. There was no psychological pressure. If there was, it wouldn't have broken me. I signed a few documents. However, in Belarus, and probably in Russia too, they usually give you 'three days to think about it,' hoping you'll change your mind. I was annoyed by this fact, as I knew I wouldn't change my mind, but you can't argue with the rules. So I spent the next three days at home, angry, with abdominal pain and nausea, waiting for my second appointment with the doctor.

Finally, I waited, came, and they gave me the first pill, explained how to take it and what to expect. The first pill (in my case, like many others, it was Mifepristone) needed to be taken in the presence of the doctor, they gave me water, and I swallowed it. Usually, there are no side effects from the first pill, so they sent me home with the second pill (Mifepristone wasn't used in my case, it was Mifepristone, but I'll explain that later), which I needed to dissolve (under my tongue) exactly two days later. I didn't feel bad after the first pill, but my stomach started hurting and aching more often, but it was tolerable. It's considered that the first pill kills and detaches the embryo, while the second one causes contractions and expels the embryo. I was waiting in fear for the second appointment, as I'd read reviews and knew it might be very painful, especially with my uterus. I prepared myself for the worst. And... Not for nothing.

The morning of the second pill appointment. Or rather, there were two (but everyone has a different dosage, so it might be different for you). I needed to put it under my tongue and wait. The pill is tasteless, like dust, a bit unpleasant in your mouth when it dissolves. I dissolved the first one in about 15 minutes, and I still felt alive. My tongue and throat started to numb, my teeth ached a bit, it was unpleasant, but it would pass. I started the second one... And as soon as I put it in my mouth, the fun began.

I felt pains in my lower abdomen, at first they were like period cramps, tolerable, but very quickly and aggressively, the pain turned into hell. I won't lie, I felt terrible, like never in my life. My intestines, uterus, stomach, and even my butt were hurting. I rushed to the toilet, felt like I was going to be sick, my heart was racing like crazy. I barely made it to the toilet and honestly, I didn't know what to do. My head was spinning, I desperately needed to throw up, a very sharp and painful diarrhea started, and my uterus was throbbing. And this all happened 20 minutes after I took the first pill. I desperately needed to throw up, but there was still the second pill under my tongue, and I was terrified that I'd throw it up with it, and my abortion wouldn't be successful because of it. So I somehow managed to hold it in, just collapsed on the toilet floor and started crying from pain and fear. Nausea was a bit less, but it was still there.

I went through the experience and managed to take the second pill. I decided to head back to bed, so I crawled towards it, but didn't make it. The pain got the better of me in the corridor, and I collapsed there on the floor, howling in agony. My partner heard me and rushed to my side, frantically calling the clinic and trying to figure out what to do. They told me not to take any painkillers, so I knew I'd be stuck with this pain for a while. They didn't offer me any real help, just a dismissive 'tough it out.'

I lay there, my vision blurring, I was sobbing and struggling to breathe. I had no idea if it was labor or something else, but it felt way worse than everyone described. My lower abdomen was ripped apart by the pain, my uterus was throbbing, but so intensely that my legs were involuntarily twitching. My partner sat with me on the floor the whole time, trying to move me to the bed, but I couldn't even move a muscle, I wouldn't have made it if they'd tried to lift me off the floor.

This torture lasted around 50 minutes. I just lay there, crying and gasping for air. I swear, it was the worst thing that's happened to me in 20 years. It was like hell. Sometimes I thought I was losing consciousness from the pain. It was nothing like my period, that's for sure! I genuinely thought I could die from this pain. The cramps in my uterus had me tensed up, shaking, and covered in sweat, it was really hot. So my partner opened all the windows, and the cold winter air and draft helped a bit.

After an hour, the unbearable pain subsided a bit, and I felt a lot of discharge, so I crawled to the bathroom. This was the first time I'd seen blood. A big clot of dark, thick blood came out in the toilet. There were no more clots like that afterwards, so I'm pretty sure that was the fetus. I didn't see a fetal sac like some people describe. It was just a jelly-like, bloody mass the size of half a hand. I didn't feel any relief, the pain just continued, but at least I could breathe, and I was still crying. Finally, I made it to the bed. It was already 12 hours. That's two hours since I took the pills. And then I started feeling the usual symptoms everyone mentions. My body was on fire, my temperature stayed at 37.6 (for most of the day). The window was wide open (and it was winter), I was under two blankets, shivering with cold and still in pain. My partner put some lemon essential oil in the diffuser, and lemon usually helps with nausea and sometimes my headaches. Maybe it'll help you too! My partner kept bringing me hot water bottles, I applied them to my stomach, and that helped a bit. I really wanted to sleep, but the pain was still so intense that it wouldn't let me drift off. I was writhing in bed from pain, trying to find a comfortable position, periodically running to the bathroom because of diarrhea and all the blood.

It wasn't until the evening that I finally started feeling some relief. Although it felt like this pain would never end. I was so exhausted, I couldn't even describe it. Around 6 pm, I managed to sleep for two hours. After that, things started getting a bit better. I could sit, walk, and even eat for the first time in a day. The pain was still there, but it was like during my period, and I could at least tolerate it. Everything else was getting more manageable. There was a lot of blood, around 4-5 large pads a day, but that's within normal limits, so I wasn't panicking about it. There were a lot of clots too, but that's

I have to admit, the aftermath was pretty rough, but I was prepared for it. Things got easier after that. The cramps were like period cramps, and they lasted for around 5-6 days. Then, a week later, they were completely gone. My bleeding lasted for 15-16 days. I know some people in the reviews had it for 11 days, so I was a bit worried that I'd have it for longer. Of course, I did end up spending money on pads - around 4 packs. And another thing: I broke out in acne. It's not a common side effect, but it can happen. I've had problematic skin my whole life, so I wasn't surprised when it happened to me. I'm not sure if it was the pills or the intense stress I was under - I was lying on the floor for an hour, sweating and crying. In the end, my face was a mess, covered in big, painful pimples, so I won't be sharing any photos. I'm still dealing with it, but it's getting better. 11 days after starting, I went in for my ultrasound check-up. The bleeding was still going on, but the doctor told me it wasn't a cause for concern. I was really worried that everything wouldn't have worked out, since I didn't see any fetal tissue and the first clot seemed small. But the ultrasound was a relief! The doctor immediately said that my uterus was clean, with no remaining tissue - everything had come out perfectly. And that's when I could finally breathe a sigh of relief. It was a really tough experience, sitting in limbo for almost two weeks, not even knowing if it was all for nothing. But in the end, my uterus is clean, and I'm alive, even if my face is still breaking out!) Apparently, my uterus was contracting really hard and painfully, but it managed to push everything out, and I don't need any additional cleaning or medication to finish the job, like some women in the reviews had to do. I was really worried that I'd still need a vacuum procedure, but it looks like I won't need that. I was really glad that it was all worth it in the end. Even with all the hell I went through. I know my review is long and graphic, but I tried to be honest and share everything that I remember. You might not have it as bad, since most of you will have normal uteruses. But I'm sure my review will be helpful to someone - maybe someone like me. Or maybe it'll just be interesting to read about my experience. I think it's always better to know what to expect, to be prepared. Now, two to three weeks later, I'm feeling okay. The bloating has gone down, and the pain is gone, along with the nausea. I feel healthy again. Good luck to you all, girls - don't be afraid. If I made it through all this, you'll definitely be fine too!