Hello.

I've been trying to get to know myself better, and I've been reading a lot of self-help books. I picked up Joe Dispenza's book because of all the great reviews, but I have to admit, I was a bit skeptical at first. I'm not a big reader, but I do enjoy reading books that help me understand myself better. After reading it, I have to say I was a bit disappointed. I thought it was going to be more helpful, but it ended up being a bit of a chore to get through.

About the book.

It's a self-help book, and it's all about self-hypnosis. I think the idea is to help you change your mindset and become a better person, but I'm not sure it's that simple. The book starts off promising, but it gets a bit repetitive and fluff-y towards the end. I mean, I get that the author is trying to drill in some information, but it's more annoying than inspiring.

I did like the idea of thinking about making your life better when things are going well, not just when they're bad. Why wait for a crisis to make a change? Unfortunately, people often only change after a psychological crisis, a bad situation, or an illness.

Getting stuck in the past or living in the future is another common mistake. How often do you catch yourself thinking, 'Things were better back then' or 'If I just lose weight, I'll find my soulmate and succeed'? I do all the time. No matter how much you analyze your actions, you'll still be trapped in past emotions.

Chapter 5 seemed absurd to me. I get that in an ideal world, everything is simple, but I see people working their tails off just to make ends meet. They shouldn't have to stop living just to meditate and imagine their perfect life. Of course, we choose our path, but many people have to work hard, and that's a fact.

I've gotta say, the concept of self-hypnosis is pretty mind-blowing, and it's something that's constantly being drummed into my head.

It's like, every time I turn around, I'm hearing these phrases:

Allow the desired event to occur without your control.

Ask for a sign that the universe is listening.

Some of the stuff in here does make you stop and think:

If thoughts about illness attract them, can thoughts heal them? If someone has a short-term traumatic experience and constantly reacts unconsciously to painful episodes, they'll experience a hardening. Over time, the negative emotion becomes a temperament, and the temperament becomes a part of their personality. They become an angry person. What's going on? They've learned the emotion so well that their body knows it better than their mind. As long as they're holding onto their anger, their body will react as if it's reliving the past.

The author uses the example of a mother-in-law – I think most of us have someone like that in our lives. The author advises letting go of the past and not dwelling on the person's flaws. When you meet them, just be present and genuinely interested in their problems. I'm not sure this advice applies to every similar situation. Good relationships are always a two-way street; sometimes one person is happy to be constantly at odds.

The book also talks about midlife crises. By this point, most people have experienced the sweetness of success and the bitterness of failure, and their interests and views on life have formed. But something's still not right. People try to suppress uncomfortable feelings and any worries. Some buy stuff, while others seek solace in people or plastic. They try to change their self-perception with objects, but as soon as the newness wears off, everything goes back to square one. It's all about not being alone with themselves. All their energy goes into maintaining an illusion, and that's wrong.

I'd say the most interesting part starts around chapter 7 or 8 – meditations. Self-discovery is meditation. I'd confidently skip everything leading up to that. I'll repeat that there's a lot of filler and mundane stuff in the book that you've probably read elsewhere. The author even goes back to what they've said before in these chapters, so you won't miss anything.

Chapter 10. Now they're giving us examples of the right meditations.

By focusing on our body, we analyze less of our past. We concentrate on our body. We concentrate on each part of our body separately. We start with our head, then move on to our nose, our ears, and so on, until we reach our toes. Then we move on to the surrounding space, feeling the density of the room.

Imagine the room filling with water. First, imagine the room, then imagine the water covering your feet, thighs, reaching your chest, now your chin, and so on. Some people are scared of going underwater, while others find it calming and soothing.

Next, we move on to the work.

Recognition, identifying problems.

We need to understand what we need to change. Here comes the written assignment. We choose an emotion that's not letting us live peacefully and work with it.

Examples of emotions:

Uncertainty, shame, sadness, hatred, anxiety, disgust, criticism, regret, envy, feeling like a victim, suffering, anger, worry, despair, outrage, guilt, fear, feeling insignificant, depression, greed, feeling a lack of something.

After listing the examples, the author tells us that many people ask if they can choose several, but it's essential to focus on just one at first. Anyway, all these emotions are connected to each other.

I chose the emotion - suffering and worked with it thoroughly. I went through it and analyzed with which setting my suffering goes hand in hand. 'Suffering' can lead to victimhood, depression, mortality, resentment, or neediness. I won't list all the events from my life that accompany this feeling, but I'll note that some emotions brought back memories. It was really uncomfortable.

Next, we need to write down our mental state at the moment when we experience the emotion. Examples of limiting states of mind:

Competition, neediness, desire to control everything, suppression, excessive tendency to analyze, tendency to lie, tendency to complain, self-love, arrogance, tendency to blame, shyness, tendency to dramatize, distraction, need for recognition, fussiness, self-pity, lack or excess of self-confidence, self-insufficiency, despair, laziness, self-absorption, dishonesty, excess or lack of sensitivity.

I think that's what's behind every decision and action you make, so you're predictable.

I'm not sure about you, but I find myself drawn to the first state of things most of the time.

Wrap-up: Honestly, I've had more effective practices in my life. It took two attempts to get to me emotionally, but it didn't really affect me. That was the idea, after all.

Let's move on.

Recognize your True self, allow yourself to be vulnerable. Share how you've been and what you'd like to change about yourself.

Written exercise.

Sit still, close your eyes, and gaze into the endless space of a clear mind. At the same time, mentally tell yourself who you've been all this time. It's a good idea to jot down everything that comes to mind – these notes might come in handy later.

I'm not entirely sure about this, because we need to fully immerse ourselves in ourselves and simultaneously write down everything to avoid forgetting.

Example:

I'm afraid of falling in love because it's so painful. I pretend to be happy, but I'm actually suffering from loneliness. I lie to people because I want them to like me. I can't stop feeling sorry for myself, and so on.

Wrap-up: Nothing. No reaction from within. I genuinely relaxed, genuinely dug deep into myself, but it didn't really affect me. I understand that some people might say that's the point – you're supposed to grasp the concept of dzen and work through your problems and emotions. I'd say that's not the first self-help book I've read, and I know what I'm talking about. For me, these practices aren't particularly helpful.

Written exercise.

Write something you'd like to share with a higher power.

Say: 'I forgive myself for all my problems and worries and I'm entrusting them to you. I know you'll resolve them better than I can. Make sure the right doors open. I've been trying to solve my problems on my own for too long, but it's not working. Make sure everything falls into place for the best.'

Some people mentally send a note to a higher power, some open a door and leave a package, and some put it in a nice box. It doesn't matter which image you choose – the important thing is to let go and be open to help.

How to know if contact has been made? Amazing things start to happen.

What changed in me over the past four weeks?

Let's get real, I've been into meditation and affirmations for a while now, so it's way easier for me to approach things without getting caught up in negativity. But that's not thanks to this book. The meditations in this book were helpful to me, but they're nothing special. Why did I even buy this book? I love reading self-help books during tough times in my life. Sometimes bad things just keep piling up, and it's essential to try not to give them too much attention. Unfortunately, this book didn't help me in that situation.

I want to say one thing - the road will rise to meet you. Sitting around doing nothing and expecting great things to happen at work, buying expensive stuff, and meeting your perfect match is just not going to cut it. I had already turned off my skepticism before I even started listening to the book, so it's not his fault. The reality is what it is, and Joe Dispenza is telling us that. You need to put in the work, make an effort, and then you'll see results. Meditations and practices can help you understand yourself a bit better, let go of your problems, but you'll still need to put in the work. Miracles don't just happen out of thin air, although the author does contradict himself a bit. Sometimes he's all like, 'just relax and be ready for good things,' and other times he's like, 'without real action, you won't get anything.' I get that you need to put in the effort, but I don't like all the loud guru talk about thinking positively, visualizing what you want, and being ready for gifts. It doesn't work that way.

In reality, all the useful information in the book is in the appendix, so if you don't want to waste your time on a bunch of fluff, just skip to the end.

Audiobook or paperback?

I'm all for the paperback version. I had a hard time catching the author's train of thought, so I had to listen to the track a few times. When you get to the practices, it's way more convenient to see the key words and questions right in front of you. In this case, the audiobook isn't going to save you much time.

TL;DR

Some useful tips here and there.

It's occasionally interesting.

It makes you think about your behavior.

It's pretty dull.

It's a chore to listen to in audiobook format.

The information isn't unique.

Verdict

The book is okay, but it's more suited for someone who's just starting to get into meditation and trying to figure themselves out. I was laughing reading how it's a sensation book and number one in self-help - it's just a middle-of-the-road book. I didn't learn anything new from it. The only thing that stood out to me was a new meditation technique. I wouldn't dissuade newbies from buying it, but I wouldn't recommend it to people who've already read a few books on the topic.

Go read about my relationship with my husband here

Melancholy - here