The Pain That Fades, But the Scar Remains

I've been in some tough spots before, but this one takes the cake. Either you're going through it or you've been there, and I'm here to give you the real deal on what happened to me.

PALATKAI'll never forget the day I found out I was pregnant with an ectopic pregnancy. I was feeling pretty crummy, and my husband noticed a change in me. We took a pregnancy test, and I was shocked to see two pink lines. We were over the moon with excitement, but little did we know what was to come. The doctor told me that my uterus was 'likely' pregnant, but if I experienced any severe pain, I should rush to the hospital. I was already on edge, and her words only made me more anxious. I took a pregnancy test, and my HCG levels were 59. But over the next week, they skyrocketed, and I could see the results getting stronger every day. I was supposed to take another test on Monday, but I was in too much pain from a toothache to get out of bed. We postponed the test until the next day, and that's when things took a turn for the worse. I was in agony, and my stomach was swelling up like a balloon. I went to bed, but the pain only got worse. I was running to the bathroom every few minutes, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to go. That's when I knew I had to get to the hospital. On September 4, 2021, I had no idea that I would be sitting in the emergency room, waiting for an ultrasound that would change my life forever. The doctor's words still haunt me to this day: 'You have a ruptured tube, internal bleeding, and we need to operate immediately.' I was in shock, and my world was turned upside down. I left the ultrasound room with tears streaming down my face, unsure of how to break the news to my husband. We had been waiting for this baby for so long, and now...I couldn't bear the thought of losing it. I walked slowly towards my husband, my heart heavy with fear. When I told him the news, he was shaken, and his eyes welled up with tears. The doctor, a young man, came in to examine me, and I was struck by his kindness and gentleness. He told us to get ready for the procedure, and my husband rushed out to get me water and some clothes, thinking I would only be in the hospital for a short time. We went up to the gynecology department, where the night nurses were waiting for us. They led me to a room, where I was told to undress from the waist down so they could check for any internal bleeding. They did a procedure called a puncture, and when they saw the blood flowing out, they told me we were going in for surgery. The procedure wasn't painful, but it was uncomfortable. I'll never forget the feeling of relief when it was all over.

I was told to relax as much as possible, but it was tough to do, especially since I wasn't exactly a pro at this surgery thing. I stepped out into the hallway, started filling out consent forms and paperwork, and just burst into tears at that moment. Then I went back to the small operating room on the same floor, started undressing, and took off all my jewelry. At that point, I hadn't even thought about paying for anesthesia or any perks, didn't ask how the surgery would go (only later did I find out that nighttime surgeries are always done with a spinal block), and I didn't even know about the ice packs. They inserted the catheter, and I felt like I was getting a UTI, but they got it in on the first try.

OPERATING ROOM.

Fast forward to around the start of the second night, they wheeled me up to the main operating room on the elevator, and it was freezing – not just cold, but freezing. They wheeled me over to the operating table, and I sort of crawled over. The operating room nurse came in and tried to cheer me up, talking to me. Then the anesthesiologist came in, asked about my weight, and said something to the nurse. She inserted the catheter into my vein, and by the time the surgeon arrived, they'd already started giving me anesthesia. I only heard that the first one had gone in, and I started feeling hot, and I managed to say 'something's burning' before I blacked out. I woke up to someone saying 'wake up and open your eyes.' At that point, I was starting to come to, and the first thing I felt was that my mouth was super dry, my throat was sore, and I really wanted a drink. I was also trying to focus my eyes for about 20 minutes. The doctors were already gone, but there was one nurse who was laughing at my words – 'I'm alive' – which was the only coherent thing I managed to say at that point. Then the nurses from the floor came in and asked me to roll over onto the gurney, helped me get settled, and I saw that there was an ice pack on my lower back. In the elevator, I was chatting with the nurses, and we even managed a few smiles. The staff at this place is top-notch.

RECOVERY ROOM.

Some time around 3 am, they wheeled me into the recovery room, and I asked for my phone so I could call my husband and parents to let them know everything went smoothly. The girls in the recovery room woke up and kept me entertained for about an hour and a half so I wouldn't fall asleep. I was feeling pretty pale and exhausted, like I'd been working a 12-hour shift. I really wanted to sleep, but I was determined to stay awake and chat with my husband, who hadn't slept because he was so nervous.

1 DAY AFTER SURGERY.

I woke up to the sound of the nurse coming in at 6 am to give me a ketorol injection and collect my urine sample. She brought a bottle and asked if I could use the bathroom or if I needed a catheter. The idea of having to push out just three drops of urine through the catheter was a bit of a fix. The girls from the ward gave me a pillow from under their bed, and I managed to use the bathroom on my own within five minutes, despite the pain. They took my blood and let me sleep. Since it was a laparoscopic surgery, no one came near me for the rest of the day. I slept most of the day, waking up every 10 minutes for 30 seconds. I went to the bathroom using the pillow, and the girls kept putting it under me and emptying it for me, which I'm super grateful for. By lunchtime, I was just starting to feel like I needed to get dressed, and my husband brought me a comfortable homemade dress and some wide, loose-fitting pants to cover everything up. I also saw the drainage tube for the first time that morning. To be honest, I didn't experience the kind of post-operative nausea that people often talk about. The smell in my urine lingered for a while, though.

2 DAYS AFTER SURGERY.

On the second day, the nurse came in early to give me pain medication and get me moving. I was feeling a bit better, but I still had no energy to lie on my back. The pain in my side was intense, and I needed help from the girls in the ward to get back onto the bed. By 10 am, I was starting to get a bit more mobile, and I managed to make it to the dressing change on my own. I was still feeling a bit wobbly, but I was trying to do things on my own as much as possible. My husband brought me a warm robe and some water, and I had to make my way downstairs on my own because of the pandemic restrictions. It was a bit of a challenge, but I managed to make it down the stairs without too much trouble. My husband was getting a bit emotional about it, though.

3 DAYS AFTER SURGERY.

By the third day, I was able to walk around the ward on my own. They finally removed the drainage tube, and I was able to move around a bit more comfortably. One of the first things I did was to go to the bathroom and wash my face properly. However, I was still experiencing some discomfort from the gas in my abdomen. My stomach was pretty bloated, to be honest. I also had some issues with my shoulder blades, which were aching from the air that was pumped into the tube during the surgery. To make matters worse, I developed a rapid heartbeat that was really uncomfortable. I didn't know about bisoprolol at the time, which is a medication that helps with heart rate. On the third day, I was even able to help out another girl who was going through a similar experience in the ward. It was still a bit of a challenge to get up from the low bed, but I had found a way to do it without too much pain.

4 DAYS AFTER SURGERY.

My doctor was checking in on me regularly and making sure I was using the bathroom properly. Since we were on a post-operative diet, it was a bit easier to go to the bathroom. It was still a bit of a challenge to strain, but I managed to do it. We were also talking about discharge, and by the evening, we were already planning to go see the girl from the ward who was getting discharged. We helped each other wash our hair, and by the evening, we were even watching movies on our phones and going up to the third floor for procedures to check on the stitches.

5 DAYS AFTER SURGERY.

I'm finally done with all the procedures, and I have to say, the IVs were a breeze compared to the worst shot I've ever had. I don't even know what it's called, but it hurt like crazy and left me feeling like I'd been kicked in the gut. The first one was in the procedure room, the second in my hospital room, and the third in the procedure room again because I couldn't handle going back to the first spot. And now, my doctor gives me the thumbs up, and we're getting discharged tomorrow. I'm actually enjoying meals and using the bathroom without any issues. It's surreal thinking about going home.

6 DAY AFTER SURGERY - DISCHARGE.

I woke up feeling relieved that I'd finally be going home to my husband and our fur babies. My overall feeling was good, but I wasn't exactly sprinting around. Around 11 am, the head nurse came by and said she'd let the discharge team know. I decided not to wait, though, since the hospital was still open, and I called a taxi to take me home.

14 DAYS AFTER SURGERY (STITCH REMOVAL)

Removing the stitches was a nightmare. I was screaming in pain, and it felt like the threads had grown into my skin. They used non-dissolvable stitches, which was a bit of a bummer, but I guess it's better than having foreign objects in my body.

10 MONTHS AFTER SURGERY.

That's my story in a nutshell. Recovery was a long, arduous process, both physically and mentally. The antibiotics they gave me in the hospital messed with my gut, and I'm still dealing with the aftermath (I even had to go back to the hospital in January with a severe case of dysbiosis). I'm super sensitive to my ovulation now, and I get bloating pretty often – my trusty friend esomeprazole comes in handy. Oh, and I still have memory issues from the anesthesia, plus a pesky heart rate problem. All in all, if I had the chance to do it all over again, I'd definitely opt for a laparoscopy. As for getting pregnant, I'm still hesitant – my mind is still reeling from the unknowns. But the surgery did take a toll on my physical and mental health. Even now, whenever I feel a twinge in my stomach, my mind immediately goes back to the operating table, thinking something's about to rupture again. So, to all the ladies out there, take care of your health and your babies!)