Breaking Free from Unrealistic Expectations: A Refreshing Take on Relationships

I'm so over the idea of what makes a perfect man, and this book offers a refreshing change of pace. Is it worth seeking out and buying? Today, I'll try to break it down.

The book is tiny and flimsy, but I still think it's worth reading. It's a great conversation starter, and the author's ideas are thought-provoking, even if they're not always easy to swallow.

size compared to a regular book

thickness For example, there's a pretty sound idea. How do men think about the future?

A man who thinks about the immediate future (from a week to a year +/-) - is a good sign, he's looking out and not just winging it. A man who's already mapped out his future with his girlfriend - is a dreamer, and you should try to bring him back down to earth. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a dreamer, you just need to ground him a bit. He's happy to talk about the future, but his scenario is way off . Don't count him out just yet - what he says isn't always what's going to happen. He doesn't talk about the future or plans at all . His focus is strictly on the present. You shouldn't write him off just yet, but if that's all he's ever going to be about, then you're not going to find anything there.

The author suggests just casually sharing your plans with him. It's up to each person to decide what they think.

I'll be honest, there's one group of people who won't get anything out of this book:

Honestly, I wouldn't recommend this book for anyone looking for a deep psychological analysis or scientific data. It's more like a light, easy read.It's not the best choice for people seeking motivation or inspiration either. The book can be a bit dry and doesn't exactly spark any enthusiasm.Perfectionists who want a comprehensive guide will be disappointed too. It's more like a collection of thought-provoking statements.So, who might actually find this book useful?

Women who live in a fantasy world, always expecting a prince to come and rescue them. This book gently brings them back down to earth.Women who are always quick to judge men and dismiss them at the first sign of imperfection. This book teaches them to replace judgment with curiosity.Women who've already read too much theory and are drowning in a sea of complex literature. This book is a breeze to read and might even leave you with a few valuable insights.The good things I discovered about this little book

✅ It helps you transition from a dreamer to someone who lives in the present and observes, rather than jumping to conclusions.

You don't need to look for a man; he's probably right in front of you. You just need to look in the right direction and catch his attention…

✅ It shatters rose-tinted glasses by encouraging you to shift your focus from finding a perfect match to seeing the real person.

The ideal is important... only from the perspective of a universal way to solve accumulated problems.

This approach gives you a quiet hope that every scenario is unique and there's no one-size-fits-all approach to relationships.

The art is in being prepared for any situation. Being ready to start a new story and finish an old one... Explore the variations of happiness that life offers you.

I've learned that being perfect is not the goal, especially when it comes to relationships. You're not a museum exhibit that can't be touched or interacted with. Idealism can be a turn-off because it's hard to live up to.

Even mystery needs a balance – a hint of intrigue, not a brick wall or a full-blown detective novel. A girl isn't a puzzle to be solved; subtlety is key to mystery.

When is categoricity warranted? When there's nothing to talk about, when someone's personality doesn't appeal to you, or when the conversation is just plain unpleasant.

When there's nothing to talk about,When someone's personality doesn't appeal to you,When the conversation is just plain unpleasant.In all other cases, it's essential to be curious and get to know the person!

I appreciated the critique of stereotypes – the whole 'pretty boys' thing, compatibility between introverts and extroverts (which doesn't actually affect compatibility), and other valuable insights.

The myth about pretty boys. A pretty boy is often showered with attention from a young age, so they're well-aware of their physical appearance. This can lead to narcissism and self-absorption. It's not easy for them to give up their privileges. These men often struggle with their peers, who reject them in proportion to their success with women.

Pretty boys can become similar to women – mannered, capricious, and so on. But there are some 'normal' ones, and they face many temptations. You don't have to write them off entirely! Just don't focus on their physical appearance – they're already aware of it.

The book breaks down men into types – the quiet pool, the passionate romantic, the honest-to-a-fault, and so on. I think there's some truth to this.

The quiet pool – is it a blessing or a curse when a man is soft-spoken and patient? He agrees with everything... and you're never quite sure what he thinks or feels. Maybe he's just indifferent? It's strange when someone in love has no emotions.

The choleric type... These guys are the ones who rush headfirst into love at any cost, desperate to dive into relationships. This kind of guy is completely unpredictable. If you're unlucky enough to meet one, he'll never listen to advice, never listen to reason, until he gets himself into a tight spot or until he gets bored running around in circles.

A genuine and open-minded man, who will never deceive you and will share everything with you. It's hard to share something with him, and he can sense dishonesty. With honesty comes a sense of superiority, arrogance, and high expectations. And a bit of harshness. He's not exactly the most pleasant person to be around. You need to keep an eye on him – maybe he'll come to realize that crystal-clear honesty is just an illusion.

A passionate man, a romantic and so on. Being around him makes a woman feel like a queen. Everything's perfect as long as he's interested. Routine, monotony, and everyday life – that's definitely not for him. He needs emotions and passion to stay by your side. If every day becomes just another ordinary day, his interest will start to wane. He's not the right guy for a peaceful life.

A faithful man. Loyalty isn't about being jealous. Loyalty should be unconditional. It has no room for proving your loyalty.

And so on – about rich guys, smokers, and the rest.

✅ The conclusion puts an end to the idea that 'better one than none' is a good motto. The book bluntly says – enough's enough, start having a dialogue with life, rather than shutting yourself off from the world.

❌ A simplified breakdown of men into types (as I described above), without any real depth, might lead to unnecessary labels that need to be removed.

❌ Lack of substance and superficiality. Many topics are just glossed over. For example, the art of charm is described in such components:

Respecting someone else's opinion, expressing your own thoughts in a thoughtful and considerate way, without being pushy;Not being bland or uninteresting;Being able to talk about yourself without fear of being misunderstood, envied, or whatever.❌ I didn't like the weird interpretation of intuition, the practice just didn't work for me, it felt somehow dodgy and simplistic. In relationships and inner voice stuff, that would be really unnecessary.

❌ It's lacking heart. In relationships, it's about meeting two unique worlds. The book kind of schematically describes relationships.

💡 All in all, the book offers a few decent and sensible ideas scattered throughout a pretty bland text. For me, the most valuable advice was to include curiosity, rather than thinking in black and white. You need to respect the other person.

Is it worth buying? I'd say neither yes nor no. After reading it, I didn't feel motivated or uplifted. It comes across as dry, but sensible and slightly positive. No fluff or nonsense. If there's a copy of this book in the library, you can take it out and read it. If you've got a sense of what it's about and want to read it, go for it. If you've got a sense of it and don't feel like wasting your time, then don't.

I'd recommend it to those who are full of doubts, feel like they're floating above the ground in relationships, and need a short text to bring them back down. The book won't heal you, but it might shake things up.

I'd give it a rating just for being straightforward. This little normal guide is 'just that' - not exhaustive, not inspiring, a bit dull, extremely general, superficial, and it touches on a lot of themes without going into depth. The book simply says, don't write off men, don't draw weird stuff in your head, see men as individuals, not as some ideal.

But what really stood out to me in this series is how many more books like this one there are about relationships and life. After reading this one, I don't feel the need to buy any others in the series.

I'd also recommend checking out the movie about a girl with no preconceptions here;

and another movie about a Soviet Cinderella who turned out to be a prince with a bad attitude;Follow me on my account for more book reviews! More books on similar topics:

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