A Clean Conscience for the Holidays

Hello everyone! I want to wish you all a Happy New Year. May joy and happiness fill every home. And I want to share a secret with you - the mystery of communion!

I've decided to share my experience with communion in the Orthodox Church, as I've done many times before, so I know the rules and have them memorized. Of course, I might have forgotten or missed something, but I'll do my best to explain it. You can read more about my post here.

I live in the Nizhny Novgorod region, my parents are from Orthodox families, my aunt married a man from the eparchy, he was a priest and was sent to a village called Selema. We visited there several times, and I still have photos. My aunt goes there every year, her husband was twice her age and has passed away.

My aunt dedicated her life to the church, she never had children and lived alone for most of her life. Communion means a lot to me!

It's been about 18 years since my aunt's husband passed away, but she never remarried, had no children, so she had a significant influence on me, and I'm grateful for that. Without her help, I might not have returned to the church. As I'm not married, I don't have any kids, but that's not a reason to justify my sins.

Of course, if a man sees that everything is fine without getting married, why would he bother? It's a big sin to live without a marriage, so I confessed, I still went to church, but I couldn't receive communion. It was a heavy burden, but life is like that - you have to make choices.

At first, I thought I could do it, but then I realized that the church was more important. I still broke up with him and asked for help from the priest. Of course, he said that the church doesn't encourage it, that I need to repent, read the penitential canon every day for 3 months, attend church services, and I did just that!

I've been living alone, reading my prayers in the morning and evening, sometimes listening to a service over breakfast, keeping a pretty low-key lifestyle, barely going out to restaurants or clubs, not celebrating birthdays unless it's with close family, more books, less entertainment.

I already talked about preparing for communion in my review on the Orthodox fast, so I'll keep it brief - you need to limit your food intake to plant-based only. Check the ingredients to avoid eggs, fish, and fish products. I've been fasting since before Christmas, but I still didn't eat fish, caviar, or anything like that.

Alcohol, meat, and dairy products are out, but you can have plant-based oil, so you can make a salad with beans, carrots, and I sliced the carrots, added soy sauce.

I saw that people were talking about treats, but the fast doesn't prohibit eating candies if they don't contain milk or eggs. So, in theory, you can have candies - for some people, a treat might be a good steak or shrimp.

You need to read your morning and evening prayers whenever possible, and definitely prepare the night before by reading the Canons and the Communion service, and leave at least an hour for that.

If you're being serious, it takes two hours to read, since I've done it many times, so the reading is pretty active, especially when you're reading it for the first time - you'll constantly stumble over words because you don't know the pronunciation.

I read up to the stichera, but in my prayer book, there are two stichera, so I read up to the last one. I bring my prayer book to church and read it while I'm standing, periodically reading further. So, I can read the morning prayers, which is the main part, most of it I know by heart, like the Creed, the Lord's Prayer, the Trisagion, the Hail, Mary, and so on.

Preparing for this was a big deal - I had to cut out at least three days of TV, gossip, socializing, booze, and cigarettes. You need to keep your body and mind clean!

When I was doing this with a partner, I had to explain what it was all about. Now that I'm on my own, it was a lot easier to prepare. But you can't just get angry, and sometimes you want to express your emotions.

I did this in the summer, and for about four months I read the canon of repentance every day. Some days I'd miss a day or two, but I'd keep track of how many days I'd done it and when I'd finish. To be honest, I ended up reading it for longer than I thought I would, because I didn't really keep track of the deadline - it was only when I realized how much time had passed that I checked.

And of course, after that I went to confession again. It's a good idea to go to vespers, ask for blessings, go over everything with a priest, and only then go to communion.

After baptism, you need to keep yourself clean, talk less, especially on that day, don't care about anything, don't lick your lips, and don't brush your teeth, at least that's what my aunt told me to do. She even said not to brush my teeth the day before, but I felt uncomfortable doing that.

Not brushing your teeth in the morning isn't a problem, my aunt has always been devout and she's always told me to do this. You can do things your own way!

So, you can't wash, brush your teeth, but you can eat whatever you want. On the one hand, the rules are very strict, it seems like it's hard to follow them, but in reality, I always managed to stick to them.

\"Украшения все сняла!\"After midnight, you can't eat or drink anything, and in the morning you go to church on an empty stomach before communion. After communion, they give you water or compote, and prosphora. Communion is basically prosphora that's been soaked in wine - it's the body and blood of Christ.

I've got to apologize to everyone beforehand - I nailed all the points, went with a clean conscience, and yeah, I was a bit nervous because my church is small and there aren't many people, so I thought they might cancel the communion. Of course, I asked the question in the group ahead of time because I like to plan everything out. If it didn't work out, I'd have had to get ready all over again.

Takeaway: it's definitely worth confessing, finding your faith again, but personally, I never lost mine and I never forgot. Lately, I've been coming across more motivational videos, which wasn't the case before.

I highly recommend visiting the church, confessing, and asking God for forgiveness for all your sins. And of course, I want to apologize to all of you for anything hurtful I may have said in the past, which might have caused offense or discomfort.

I'm really glad everything worked out, and I'd definitely recommend it.